Hassan, my dear friend,
and all the good people on his list,
I agree with your take on Khatim's contributions in public debate, which I have always appreciated. I think his latest renewal of his intellectual energy, exhibited in his weekly column, and discussions in Sudanese Online, is strongly commendable and highly desirable at this juncture in our political history. I say this, because I think Khatim should continue to devote even more energy to this side of his character than expending it on political activism, in which he did not have as much success. In fact, I strongly think that even his success with the Communist Party in the past benefited not from his political skills -which are limited, obviously in my judgment- as it did from his intellectual skills. The SCP needed ideologies, and he was one heck of an ideologue par excellence, because he always had, and continues to have, the brain and the smarts to be one. I don't say this in any derogatory way. Khatim is one of my good friends, and I derive a lot of joy and enrichment from his friendship, beside what the Sudanese public enjoys of him. However, I see this as an opportune moment to say what I have always tried to convey to him and to our common friends without much success. Now I feel I have it clear in mind, and, hopefully, I will be able to explain it better for all of us -yes, even for me as I write it, or as it writes me, if you will!
Khatim, of late, is coming to terms with his past failings, which he has courageously, and publicly, addressed. And, he is powerfully reinvigorating his real creative intellectual abilities, and this is what our country needs of him -at least at the moment. This latter side of his is where his focus should be, in my humble opinion. Any political activism, arising from his political ambition, should be set aside at this critical moment in our history, for it drained his intellectual energies. Furthermore, it got him into fights with some of his closest friends. I was one of those, in a less intense manner. And I am not free of what I am trying to say about him here.
We all need to set aside political ambitions -at least at this critical stage of our political history- for the sake of providing a true vision for our country. This, in my judgment, is the primary role that our life experiences have prepared us for. We have been educated -for free as you eluded to- to provide that vision. We have, as intellectuals, had the chance to experience the world and its diversity of ideas, challenges, and opportunism, as never before. This was a direct result of that free education. Yet, we have only failed and betrayed our people, who have paid -consciously or unconsciously- for us to lead the way out of the abyss of darkness and underdevelopment. Yes, we all, so far, have failed.
But this failure itself provides a challenge and an opportunity. Khatim, it seems to me, has realized this, and has acted upon it. We all need to do what he is doing, everyone according to her/his abilities -at least, if it is only through organizing functions and forums for possible discussion of ideas, away form political polarizations. I am sure most of us are capable of more than just providing for the logistics of organizing an event, but I am using this just as an example. In short, I am trying to say that we need to work toward creating a vision for our country, and not limit ourselves to the corrupt political forms and visions existing today in our world, including the " free market economy" model -which is not free at all, and which has proven to be corrupt to the extent that it has successfully developed a system of concealing its own corruption. To my astonishment, even Khatim fell in the traps of thinking that the "free market economy" may be the model to be emulated. This was a few years ago, and not long after his break with the SCP. I am almost sure that he modifies his thinking in this regard, as he always does when he realizes he was wrong -at least at the intellectual level.
If Khatim, with all his brains, could be confused -and confused he was!- then most of us are not immune. It is precisely this kind of confusion that a new vision will combat. And, creating a new vision, is what we precisely, acutely, need. Khatim has confidently put his feet on this direction, but I am afraid, if we do not help him from falling into the trappings of stardom, the political animal in him might overrun his brilliant abilities in helping us formulate the new vision we seeking. What applies to Khatim in this regard, applies to all of us in this regard, but I am using him as an example as this context dictates. I myself have been in serious tough discussions with my own self about this tough issue, to the extent of being seriously debilitated by it in many fronts. Yet, I am glad that I engaged my self, and make my own inner realms as the main battlefield.
I am sure that Khatim is noble enough to understand that I am not here, in anyway, to get him, or to score points against him. My discussion of him here, is as serious as my discussion with my own self, which almost vanquished my sense of being, and my place in this troubled world! Again -and I can't emphasize this enough- engaging ourselves is as important as engaging others in formulating a new vision. Khatim has, partly, done that and he took even a further step in telling us publically how he came to terms with his failings of thirdly years with SCP, and beyond. He needs, as we do need, to take even more steps in this direction of public self-criticism, for we all are "Abdullahi Ali Ibrahims," in one sense or another. Abdullahi is just an expression of a widely spread phenomenon, even amongst -and within- those who would like to think that he just an isolated phenomenon. Many of us, including myself, derided him in public debates, with the assumption that he is an isolated example of betrayal of progressive thought! But I am now critical of that stance. We are all "Abdullahi Ali Ibrahims," as I will try to explain.
You, Hassan, even said it, when you said that we chose the comforts of the Arab Gulf states or the Western Hemisphere. Abdullahi Ali Ibrahim did the same thing as he now lives in the US. He had a free education in the Sudan, and most of us did. There are more similarities of his example with our own, than we would like to admit. The two I pointed out will suffice for the purposes of what I am trying to say. Yes, there are differences, but only in the degree with which each of has chosen to betray his people.
Abdullahi chose to go back to his racist and possibly fanatic old self -his flirting with Al-Ingaz, may attest to that- while we chose to remain silent when the grip of fanaticism began to really tighten around the necks of our people. Let me give you an example here. I still recall, vividly, how a prominent law professor at the University of Khartoum, in the early 1980s -before the introduction of the infamous Sept.. Laws- ejected me from his office, when, as a Republican, I presented to him a book on "Religious Fanaticism" and the imminent possibility of its coming to power. The man, a leftist, if not a communist, at that point in his life, harshly ejected me from his office, saying this "An-Nas fi shinu wa'l-Hassania fi shinu." He said that fighting Nimeiri and his regime was more important, as I left his office with sadness -and a sense of humiliation, we, the Republicans, have learned to accept and forgive those who inflicted it upon us. In less that three years Nimeiri and his regime were all in the hands of El-Turabi and his folks. Thus, in my judgment, he was complacent, as most the Sudanese intellectuals were, including the clique of ideologues of the Communist Party, of which Khatim was a prominent member. This episode with the "law" professor, was not isolated, as scores of Republicans had been humiliated and scorned by scores upon scores of leftists, from all political persuasions of left. Just imagine how alienated the Republicans felt as they fiercely confronted fanaticism on its head, and endured humiliation from the supposedly "progressive" intellectuals -besides the unspeakable indifference from most, if not all the rest!
I am not trying to score any points for us, as Republicans, here. Far from it. You know very well how very critical I am of our own complacencies, as Republicans, especially after Jan. 18, 1985, the day Ustaz Mahmoud Mohamed Taha gave us a different example of a true Sudanese intellectual of global appeal! And here is what prompted me to write to you, and to our friends in your list.
I feel deeply offended when a smart man -like you, who has enjoyed the privileges and opportunities of becoming a fair and balanced intellectual- would discuss all sorts of examples of Sudanese intellectuals, from Abdullahi Ali Ibrhim, to Khatim, to Abel-Khalig Mahjoub, and Mahdi Ali Ibrahim, and not even give a marginal mention to Ustaz Mahmoud. This tells me that we are still complacent, and may be that is why we are enjoying the comforts of the West, or the Gulf, and not engaging in "public" debate as we should. Just as we -myself include- marginalize Ustaz Mahmoud and his powerful example in our minds, we also marginalize our people's sufferings in our collective mind. We, thus, end up actually marginalizing our own true selves that strive for justice, equality, and fraternity, and the pursuit of happiness. It seems that we are only in the "pursuit of happiness" as engrained in the American political and socio-economic culture and psyche.
We truly need to reassess our place in this world, as our lives become void of meaning. We might find true meaning in the cause of formulating a new vision for our country. And this can not even begin without private and public self-criticism, which only results from self-doubt -a healthy attribute that resulted in all reformulations of civilizations, past and present. We are utterly in denial. Almost all Sudanese intellectuals are in denial. And that is why each and everyone of us -thinks he/she knows it best, and the hell with the rest!!!!
In this sense, we are all complacent, my dear friends, in one way or another. Haydar Badawi, Khatim, Hassan Shazali, Mahdi Ibrahim, Abdullahi Ali Ibrahim...etc, vary only in degree. Again, in this sense, we are all "Abullahi Ali Ibrahim!" Yes, we only vary in degree, because some of us have just started the painful agonies of self-doubt, while others are in full swing denial.
Here, I am no longer of the irrational and naive opinion of saying that "we should all go back to Sudan, today, to rebuild it" well- intended this as it may be. Yet, we all can help in creating a new vision, from within or without the country. Some of us who are ready for the option of going back may well do so, and their experience may provide insight for those who chose to stay abroad. But those of us who chose to stay abroad, together with all intellectuals inside, must begin to search deep into themselves as to how we can get out of the shameful traps of complacency (which, indeed, makes life devoid of any real meaning). This search may yield a positive result that will make each one of us tap his/her own strengths, which shall, hopefully, enrich debates, that will ultimately help in formulating a new socio-political vision.
I didn't mean for this comment to be this long, but it kept on "writing me" instead of me "writing it!" Awaiting your comment, I would also ask for your permission, and that of Khatim, to publish it in Sudanese Online for public debate. This latest suggestion occurred to me just now! I hope you would agree to it.
Yours faithfully,
Haydar
(عدل بواسطة Haydar Badawi Sadig on 02-19-2005, 03:56 PM)
(عدل بواسطة Haydar Badawi Sadig on 02-20-2005, 08:30 AM)
Haydar Badawi Sadig
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