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 Re: Polygamy in Sudan (Re: Muna Khugali)
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Polygamy
Perhaps the aspect of Islam in respect of women which is most prominent in the Western mind is that of polygamy. Firstly let me clarify that Islam does not impose polygamy as a universal practice. The Prophet himself was a monogamist for the greater part of his married life, from the age of twenty-five when he married Khadija until he was fifty when she died.
One should therefore regard monogamy as the norm and polygamy as the exception.
One may observe that, although it has been abused in some times and some places, polygamy has under certain circumstances a valuable function. In some situations it may be considered as the lesser of two evils, and in other situations it may even be positively beneficial arrangement.
The most obvious example of this occurs in times of war when there are inevitably large numbers of widows and girls whose fiancées and husbands have been killed in the fighting. One has only to recall the figures of the dead in the first and second world wars to be aware that literally millions of women and girls lost their husbands and fiancées and were left alone without any income or care or protection for themselves or their children. If it is still maintained that under these circumstances a man may marry only one wife, what options are left to the millions of other women who have no hope of getting a husband? Their choice, bluntly stated , is between a chaste and childless old maidenhood, or becoming somebody's mistress, that is an unofficial second wife with no legal rights for herself or for her children. Most women would not welcome either of these since most women have always wanted and still do want the security of a legal husband and family.
The compromise therefore is for women under these circumstances to face that if given the alternative many of them would rather share a husband than have none at all. And there is no doubt that it is easier to share a husband when it is an established and publicly recognized practice than when it is carried on secretly along with attempts to deceive the first wife.
And it is no secret that polygamy of a sort is widely carried on in Europe and America. The difference is that while the Western man has no legal obligations to his second, third or fourth mistresses and their children, the Muslim husband has complete legal obligations towards his second, third or fourth wife and their children.
There may be other circumstances unrelated to war--individual circumstances, where marriage to more than one wife may be preferable to other available alternatives--for example where the first wife is chronically sick or disabled. There are of course some husbands who can manage this situation, but no one would deny its potential hazards. A second marriage in some cases could be a solution acceptable to all three parties.
Again there are cases in which a wife is unable to have children, while the husband very much wants them. Under Western laws a man must either accept his wife's childlessness if he can, or if he cannot he must find a means of divorce in order to marry again. This could be avoided in some cases if the parties agreed on a second marriage.
There are other cases where a marriage has not been very successful and the husband loves another woman. This situation is so familiar that it is known as the Eternal Triangle, Under Western laws the husband cannot marry the second woman without divorcing the first one. But the first wife may not wish to be divorced. She may no longer love her husband, but she may still respect him and wish to stay with him for the security of marriage, for herself and their children. Similarly the second woman may not wish to break up the man's first family. There are certain cases such as this where both women could accept a polygamous marriage rather than face divorce on the one hand or an extra-marital affair on the other.
I have mentioned some of these examples because to the majority of Westerners polygamy is only thought of in the context of a harem of glamorous young girls, not as a possible solution to some of the problems of Western society itself. I have given some time to it not in order to advocate its indiscriminate use, but in an attempt to show that it is a practice not to be condemned without thinking of its uses and possible benefits in any community.
Why then did Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him practice polygamy?
Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him can be treated as an exceptional case. The Noble Verses that I presented above clearly talked about men and women in general. They apply to all men and all women. Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him was a Messenger of GOD (filled with sympathy and mercy to people) and a leader for all Muslims. He didn't practice polygamy for the sake of sexual pleasure at all. Most of his wives were either widows (older than him in age too) or divorced women (also most of them were either older or same age). Only one of his wives was a virgin, and he only married her because her father was his best friend. He wanted to strengthen that relationship. And it was her father who offered her to our Prophet peace be upon him anyway.
If our beloved Prophet peace be upon him really seeked sexual pleasure, then he would've married young virgins from the Muslims. Back then, people loved Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him so much, that they would literally do anything for him. Certainly fathers would've given him their young virgin daughters if he wanted to. Many people offered him their young virgin bosomed daughters anyway to raise their families' honor, but our Prophet never seeked that sexual privilege in life.
Because Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him was a smart political leader and a wonderful humble merciful true Messenger of Allah Almighty, he chose to marry the weak from his people to encourage the Muslim men to do the same; to create a balance in the Muslim society. Again, another emergency case that existed during Islam's weak times that forced the Muslims (including Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him) to practice polygamy.
Can anyone be absolutely fair?
No one on this earth including Muhammad peace be upon him can be absolutely fair. Our Prophet peace be upon him used to pray in one of his prayers to Allah Almighty by saying in Arabic "Allah humma innaka taalamu be anni aadiloo bima astatee', wa lakinnee la aadiloo bima la astatee'," which means in English "Dear Allah, you are well aware that I try to be just with all I can, but I can't be just with what I can't." This prayer means that our Prophet always tried to be fair as much as possible, but he couldn't always do that.
One time, Prophet Muhammad peace be upon him said this prayer, because he used to love his wife Aisha (who was the youngest of his wives) the most, and he always feared that he would not be fair to the rest of his wives. Muhammad peace be upon him recognized that he was only a human being, and he can not be fair especially in his feelings at all time.
This clearly proves that Islam highly discourages the marriage of multiple wives for (1) Because no one can be fair; (2) polygamy is only allowed when the male species is endangered in a society; and (3) The Noble Verse 4:3 orders us to marry only one wife if we feel that we will not be fair.
The Noble Verse that I presented above also clearly proves that no one can be absolutely fair; "Ye are never able to be fair and just as between women, even if it is your ardent desire: But turn not away (from a woman) altogether, so as to leave her (as it were) hanging (in the air). If ye come to a friendly understanding, and practise self-restraint, God is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful. (The Noble Quran, 4:129)"
Thanks
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| العنوان |
الكاتب |
Date |
| Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-23-04, 01:29 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | قلقو | 12-23-04, 01:51 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-23-04, 02:13 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Ishraga Mustafa | 12-23-04, 02:21 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-23-04, 03:13 AM |
 Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Halema2 | 12-23-04, 03:11 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-23-04, 03:35 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | قلقو | 12-23-04, 04:00 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-23-04, 06:17 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | أحمد الشايقي | 12-23-04, 09:17 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-23-04, 04:18 PM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | عبدالناصر معتصم | 12-23-04, 07:47 PM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-23-04, 10:40 PM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Mohamed Elbashir | 12-23-04, 09:27 PM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-23-04, 10:59 PM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | عبدالناصر معتصم | 12-24-04, 00:51 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-24-04, 09:28 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | عبدالناصر معتصم | 12-24-04, 08:35 PM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Hisham Amin | 12-24-04, 01:51 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-24-04, 03:52 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | عبدالناصر معتصم | 12-24-04, 06:34 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-24-04, 11:04 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-24-04, 11:45 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-25-04, 00:51 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-25-04, 08:46 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-27-04, 06:19 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | عبدالناصر معتصم | 12-27-04, 11:41 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-27-04, 02:45 PM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | عبدالناصر معتصم | 12-28-04, 00:19 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | عبدالناصر معتصم | 12-28-04, 02:52 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | عبدالناصر معتصم | 12-28-04, 11:59 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | محمد حامد جمعه | 12-28-04, 12:08 PM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Omer Abdalla | 12-28-04, 12:31 PM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-29-04, 06:06 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-31-04, 08:51 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-31-04, 09:08 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | خضر عطا المنان | 12-31-04, 09:57 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 12-31-04, 10:10 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 01-08-05, 12:21 PM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | عبدالناصر معتصم | 01-08-05, 05:35 PM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Abdel Aati | 01-14-05, 08:39 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | manubia | 01-14-05, 10:33 AM |
| Re: Polygamy in Sudan | Muna Khugali | 01-14-05, 01:36 PM |
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