|
|
 Re: نـدى أحمد نجيب ست سنوات مرت رحمك الله وصبرنا على فراقك (Re: Salah Abdulla)
|
Sarah Kamal Abbas
Bleeding Reminiscences …
>>>>>
Wrote it 2008 for you
>>>
رحمه. الله عليك
أختي ندي محمد نجيب
They used to say the only way to drag out deep pains
Either Pressing on them or expressing them,
I can remember years ago;
I always kept a piece of chalk between my stuff,
Writing on my closet door (inside),
Writing dates and events,
Those which had my anger or unmerited feelings,
Helped me absorbing and understanding them.
The other night...I was in our garage
The final destiny of all the unused, old furniture and scrap
Saw the closet,
Opened the door
Found all that old writing... All of them ...
I started reading... wish i didn't
Gazed on some of those unclear words ,numbers, dates and names,
It was my book of memories, didn’t ever want it emerge,
And then,
There were that clear written date and name followed by a “R.I.P.” ...
Looking more …
Closer ….
Start trembling,
Felt cold
My tears came running down and very fast painful heartbeats,
Bitter taste...
Was deep as sin and grief
It had me all, and I just couldn’t take it,
Ran back to my room and started writing …
And …
Here I am sharing it with you …
I remembered the other day, I pressed on that chalk so hard ….
Hard till it dropped apart two halves between my fingers,
I couldn't feel my knees …
Fall down following her,
It had my heart
And all my senses,
Just couldn’t help my self ,
Was crying out loud like a child…
Couldn’t let go of all the pain and anger,
Had all the “Ifs” and “WHYs” in my mind,
Fighting to come out and reaching my thoughts...
But …
None of them can bring back time ….
I felt mistake…
Hate,
Dishearten ,
It was like a catastrophe,
No…
It is like I have just killed or caused death to my only friend.
It was hard to let it go after all...
It had nowhere to go... Simply,
Not because am angry of God or destiny; No....
It’s just…
Thinking of a human being that should be up, alive
A soul shall never find its end....
Kept killing me time after time....
Well…
Days went by...
And here I am again, standing…
In a memory of a person, was once part of a group that is distanced …
Made me believe, it was her whom grouped us …
A memory of a smile… painful …
I bet, whoever remembers it, unconsciously cries back …
A memory of soreness, deep within,
A pain of an unspoken fear …
A memory of tears, which kept bleeding inside each of us,
Just to recall it all….
It deserve to be felt,
To respect
And to stand for...
To my Angle ,
Yeah , Its For you ...
I know its too late...
Praying to have your forgiveness....
It’s a desired feeling;
I could never help myself letting it behind...
and I will never do …
رحمه الله عليك
|
|
 
|
|
|
|
Rawia
فيس بوك
تويتر
انستقرام
يوتيوب
بنتيريست