أيها المكان

oh place
you are my eternal enemy
i have changed you
the way i change my moods
but you are my new god
the one
the one
the timeless
i have ignored you
but you keep on annoying me
with dishonest friends
and women friends
and passports officials
and bureaucrats
and stupid landlords
and insensitive men and women
and tax officials from back home
the home i left
but it still chases me to pay for its corrupt governments
i have endured your insensitiveness
but you never been kind to me
you never appreciated my patience
i invited you to a party
so that we could negotiate
but you declined my invitation
and threw me to your twin on the pacific ocean
i thought many times
to leave you for good
to hang myself
the way mayakovsky did
or commit suicide
the samurai way
or ask allah
in the last third of failure
to shorten my life
or live in the coma of eternity
or die like pushkin
while in a duel with you
but you, the longstanding,
stands, as place,
in the way of my prayers
and my dialogue with my sinful self
but i didn't regret leaving you
because i don't know if you are there
do you exist in heaven?
do you exist in hell?
do you exist in nihilism?
so,
how could i, the walker,
flee from you?
how could i?
how could i?
how could i?
monterey 2007