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 Re: Australia: Integration difficulties associated with Sudanese Refugees (Re: Mohamed Omer)
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The Sudanese took me over
By Joe Hildebrand
October 20, 2007 12:00am
The Daily Telegraph
THE truth is that everything was going just great for me until I got taken over by the Sudanese.
I had a steady job, a nice girl who used to make me waffles on Saturdays and a cool yet mutually respectful relationship with my father.
That all changed once the Sudanese overran me. Soon I started staying out late, dabbling in exotic fruits and listening to free-form jazz.
I wasn't the only one. My mother was fighting a courageous battle with cancer using nothing but bircher muesli and meditation - then the Sudanese hit town.
They left nothing but ashes in their wake. The locals still call them "Burners of great fire".
My mother was mercifully left alive, thank God, but the cancer was gone and with it her last chance of meeting Pat Rafter.
It was then I realised that hard decisions had to be made. We had to get the Sudanese out of the country before they killed again. We couldn't repeat the same mistake we'd made with the Irish.
There was only one small problem. The country I was in at the time was Sudan. Luckily I checked again and it turned out to be western Sydney - and there was silly old me wondering why the white people were failing to integrate properly. Whoops!
Despite this, my mind was clear: They had to go.
Firstly, they were flooding the country with drugs. This would not have been a problem if they had distributed them all around the country but, no, they had to give them all to Ben Cousins.
Now not only has the country lost a great footballer but millions of impressionable young people will never know that it's cool to take drugs.
That of course was not the only devastation wreaked upon Australia's sporting pride by the Sudanese.
When the Wallabies were knocked out of the Rugby World Cup there was not one - I repeat, not one - try or goal scored by a Sudanese player.
Talk about lazy.
And then there's the violence. Every Sydneysider remembers where they were that day in December 2005 when they ran riot in Cronulla, their chests emblazoned with those immortal words of menace: "We flew here, you grew here."
On a personal level, as I have already said, my life has also been shattered. See, that's the thing about the Sudanese: They're everywhere but there's never one around when you need them. When my mum took my dog Barney and sent him to bisexual dog heaven, who was there to stop her?
Was there a Sudanese guard at the veterinary clinic waving pro-life placards that day?
No, there was not.
And when my parents' marriage was falling apart, was there a Sudanese social worker on call to tell my dad to stop shagging his banjo student?
No, there was not.
And, for all their wanton violence, was there a Sudanese kid at my high school to stop Daniel Taylor from bashing me up at the outside lockers?
Well, yes, there was actually but the pacifist ####### just sat there eating his lunch.
And so I wholeheartedly support the Federal Government's decision to stop the amount of Sudanese "refugees" coming to Australia.
It's good for society and, more importantly, would probably place downward pressure on interest rates.
My only other request would be for the Government to also get rid of other anti-social elements in the community.
As a starting point may I suggest:
WIL Anderson (Sorry Wil, I just can't get over it);
THE remaining Daddo brothers;
BOTH Karl Rove and Rove McManus, just to be on the safe side;
ALL celebrity chefs;
MARK Holden;
MARK Holden again, just to be on the safe side;
EVERYONE who's ever been on Big Brother;
EVERYONE who's ever wanted to go on Big Brother, even secretly when no one else is around;
WHOEVER makes cabbage;
MY FIRST girlfriend Kristy, who dumped me for her ex-boyfriend Mike even though he never really loved her the way I did;
MISSY Higgins;
THE guy from The Chaser with the stupid hair who doesn't like Princess Di. I mean, seriously, who doesn't like Princess Di?
PARENTS who give their children ecstasy and then use them to get into nightclubs
DARRIN'S rampant homosexuality; and lastly
DARRIN
I think that should just about do it.
Oh, and Kevin Andrews too. He might be a nice enough bloke but he looks like one of those eight-year-old kids who gets possessed by Satan in Monday night telemovies.
And, surely, looks are enough?
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Mohamed Omer
فيس بوك
تويتر
انستقرام
يوتيوب
بنتيريست