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Re: ود الاصيل أني مابين كبد معاناة العالقين و (Re: زهير ابو الزهراء)
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[B
My dear friend, the noble one,
I know that you are facing a difficult time right now. Your illness has taken a toll on your body, and you may be feeling lost and alone. I want you to know that I am here for you, and I want to support you in any way that I can.
I also want to encourage you to take some time for self-reflection. Write an elegy for yourself, not as a way to mourn your death, but as a way to celebrate your life. Reflect on the things that have made you happy, the people you love, and the lessons you have learned. This could be a very healing and cathartic experience for you.
I know that this is a lot to ask, but I believe in you. You are a strong and courageous person, and I know that you can do this.
When you are in a state of activity and work, feeling ordinary fatigue, and then you collapse from extreme exhaustion and dizziness, you go to the hospital to check and find out what's wrong. You undergo tests and think it's just from overwork. Then comes the shock: you are diagnosed with a terminal illness that will not give you more than a few months. You might feel fear, frustration, temporary madness, you cry, you call out, you seek refuge. Why does medicine give this final verdict؟ Enjoy all your time. I'm in a state of chaos, I don't understand, I'm bewildered beyond limits. How did this happen؟ I started reading verses of healing and praying a lot. I don't know if I should be honest with the one who loved me madly. We had agreed to spend our lives together, and now I can't fulfill that promise. Crying here does not mean defeat, or even fear of death as much as it means drowning in the unknown, which I don't know the extent or the end of. I'm in a maze. I combed her hair to smell her scent. I made love tenderly as if it were my last moment. I don't know when I will leave, but life is wonderful with her, with you, with all its struggles and challenges. I will be alive in every space of the world, in my grave. I love fun, life, and beauty in everything. I have decided that my grave design will be wonderful, and I hope to die in my sleep, not awake. I don't want to disturb my loved ones when I leave them. Goodbye. I am happy with you all my life, and you were always wonderful.
]رثاء النفس في رحلةٍ عبر الزمن، خطواتي ثقيلةٌ أحملُ همّي، وحدي، دربٌ مُوحِشٌ أُصارعُ الأيام، أُكافحُ العواصفَ أبحثُ عن نورٍ في هذا الظلامِ الدامسِ
أُناجي النجومَ، أُناجي القمرَ أُناجي ربي، أسألهُ الصبرَ أُناجي نفسي، أُعاتبُها أينَ قوّتي؟ أينَ صبري؟
جسدي يرهقُهُ المرضُ روحي تئنُ من ألمِ الفراقِ أُريدُ أن أُصرخَ، أُريدُ أن أبكي لكنّ لا أحدَ يسمعُ ندائي
أُريدُ أن أُحِبَّ، أُريدُ أن أُعشَقَ أُريدُ أن أُعيشَ حياةً مليئةً بالسعادةِ لكنّ القدرَ قاسٍ، والموتُ مُقتربٌ وأنا أعلمُ أنّ نهايتي قريبةٌ
أكتبُ هذه الكلماتِ كآخرِ رسالةٍ إلى من أحبّهم، وإلى نفسي أُريدُ أن أقولَ لهم: لا تحزنوا عليّ فأنا ذاهبٌ إلى مكانٍ أفضلَ
سأكونُ حُراً من الألمِ سأكونُ حُراً من الخوفِ سأكونُ حُراً من كلّ شيءٍ
وداعاً يا عالمُ وداعاً يا أحبائي وداعاً يا نفسي
سأشتاقُ إليكم جميعاً لكنّني سأكونُ بخيرٍ في سلامٍ أبديٍّ
Translation:
Self-Elegy On a journey through time, my steps are heavy I carry my burden, alone, a lonely path I fight the days, I fight the storms I search for light in this darkest darkness
I call to the stars, I call to the moon I call to my God, I ask him for patience I call to myself, I reproach myself Where is my strength؟ Where is my patience؟
My body is worn out by disease My soul groans from the pain of separation I want to scream, I want to cry But no one hears my call
I want to love, I want to be loved I want to live a life full of happiness But fate is cruel, and death is near And I know my end is near
I write these words as my last message To those I love, and to myself I want to tell them: don't grieve for me For I am going to a better place
I will be free from pain I will be free from fear I will be free from everything
Goodbye, world Goodbye, my loved ones Goodbye, myself
I will miss you all But I will be fine In eternal peace
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