كتب الكاتب الفاتح جبرا المتوفرة بمعرض الدوحة
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 Without Herتماضر و مصطفى آدم عايز رأيكم
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Without Her!
!I see them descending there
.In the tremulous haze of a mirage
Their statures break so slowly that I barely discern: Human are they or
?merely obscured images
Some of their details slide to float away, making me think
they would perish in the haze. But before long they would catch up with
!those critical details of theirs and emerge
.The knocks of their boots echoing in a shoreless expanse
!But I have distanced myself away
I have taken to chopping firewood away from all appeals, anticipating a
!long and cold winter without her, without a rippling come-back
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.Things take their courses while on I look
.Paths get stirred by my silence
.In every detail, it is the same wether I get surprised or not
.I must remember that what has happened had to happen
All contexts were to wrap up regardless of my emanations into their fields
.of impact
?So, what do I need me for
But these a priori conclusions are never reached until you arrive at those thorny terminal ends where nothing is beyond, where it turns out,in a final and stark reckoning,that the things you fought were mightier than your strife. That your struggle itself was, before its collapse, the common
.denominator in all the cases where you assumed denying and effacing roles
!You can even conclude that your active life was sheer egocentricity
? See how flagrant that is
But they, the episodes and the transformations don't like this observation! Mites do not heed the amount of damage consequent on their (miting)! Your readiness to defeat your enemies would be of no avail if they put the whole matter in reverse! Stick, therefore, to any emerging context. You will find that indifference is the slogan that happenings raise in the face of your
.meddling in their fates
?What do you think
?Are you bigger than a homeland
They, the episodes and the transformations raised more than that in the face of the glorious voluntary custodians of the values. A deed that cracked the
.jars of the drinking pals of change sending them scrambling for heeltaps
?What could they do to you
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Her marriage to the goalkeeper scorches you as one of the caustic episodes. I don't object to a goalkeeper venturing into the wilderness of the big questions and their burning answers. Camus was a goalkeeper! Look at his face, Camus and not your rival! Philosophy does not do that to faces. Apart from what Camus did, tens of years might pass without you knowing anything significant a goalkeeper has done following his step-down. But is her husband so? Or may be he absorbed her theses and even transcended them. May be her sudden marriage to him created that state in which one just dumps
.theses under the cosy covers of married life
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She cast aside her charms for the sake of an intellectual image. That did not bother you. To keep her by your side was all that mattered. You felt you
.could defer your yearnings and lusts and sum them up as a great promise
Oh my God! Is that why she went with the goalkeeper? Because of.... Where is his photo? I always wanted that album by my side. That's him! I clipped this from a sports paper on the eve of their marriage. The caption blames a recent defeat of his team on him. Mark that! But his physique. His physique is more attractive than athletic. Oh, well she made a choice that wouldn't have occured to you! Of course you know that women marry for reasons that you can't foretell. they also marry for no obvious reason and again without
!you being a concern
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After marriage, he moved her from her culture-reviving ambiance to a peripheral setting fraught with infra-subsistence revelations and burgeoning confounding emotions. Very early on she conceived but dropped her previous contentions on abortion along with tens of other desires disclaimed. she maintained a foetus that was most likely bewildered! And put on that eccentric attire to totally disrupt transmitting. It was no longer possible for her to return to metropolitan life. She even looked at the printed word
.with complete stupor
You will not redeem her by reminding her of those days of leverage. You think by sitting with her, you and your heavily-booted friends in any of their bureaucratic manipulations will reedem her? No, Sir! Forget that. It's of you that one is bereft for you always go to extremes in your petit
!prophecies
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She used to deliver her exotic and varied speeches from mobile platforms at
.the student's cafe
Although she talked seriously,you took the chance of her getting overwhelmed to pore over her body not her talk. Her most enchanting corporal state revealed itself in the midst of her elocution. She meant to show you that the world went on by the very same way that you thought it did not! She did not mean to embarass you by that. The fate of things for her was so simple and devoid of surprises. It was her view that tales and anecdotes had their delights encapsulated into rubrics of directness and traditions of narration. She used to shoot at you: "Talk like Brecht or Kafka and you never get your things straight!" Her voice soared while her body, with it's delayed or rather subdued drives, didn't quite seem to fit this very description! She would say:"They are the prophets of the ordinary, those who act according to courses and vicissitudes." She would ask you to "Take for instance" a pharse she often used. "Take for instance how those aliens
".entered our home
It's a big story. They pierced through the tribal pride that took decades"
to build and you know how?" You cling to your silence knowing you weren't sure how. She would go on: "O.K. Why did they stay so long? To teach us how to grow cotton? Why did they bring in the railroad? To flush your rural
"?relatives through the alleys of Omdurman? Do you have definite answers
You ponder. Your face wears an affirmative expression and, as if to commend this, she exclaims:"Yes! Exactly. I would not take into account those twisted answers reiterated by the hypocrites. Forget about them. They accept half-truths or even less. The fact is that we were dealt a fatal blow. Those aliens broke something that was deeply ensconced. Cherish was it's essence,
"in fact.It is a simple and painful story
But because you thought she went to extremes on that you chose to watch while she pled against what was held incontrovertible in that matter with a passion that inflamed other passions and postures that concerned you a lot
.more
That "Scar" did not concern you! The theory of defeat seemed to concern no
?one, anyway! It had no impact on the general sense of pride.Weird,eh
Nothing made her face switch colors of denouncement like that little refrain she never tired of repeating: " Even after they departed we could not cope. Our denial of the scandal trained us for more denials. We swept into
.labyrinthine roads armed with obstinacy which is a hightening of denial
"!This is our neurotic post-colonial reality
!My goodness! Here is beauty and mind gathered in one. No wonder
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For thiry years he could not see exept through some cracks in the husky ordinariness that encompassed him. Then, suddenly, one morning, while crossing the public road, he discovered how talented he was in forging methods of refuting the ordinary! He now wears one of the heavy boots that bang the ground in pursuit of me. He, too, is stretched out in some bleeding orbit,turning over his talents in his palms and blowing into them lest they
.be smothered
But her's was an opposite transformation. Ordinariness was an axis she had known so well. A cradle that lulled the "deeply-rooted" in her. She leaned on it, somtimes, but mostly overstepped it. Then, it so happened that she
.slipped into it, irretrievably
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.Don't try. It won't work-
..........-
.It's useless-
.......... -
.Don't butt the rock! Forget about her distinctions -
You know where she got
.them
............. -
..Abandon and don't cry! You really cry, eh? Well, if you cry-
...........-
Are you carzy? I am telling you not to cry. Calm down a little. Be in you -
!mind, fellow
............ -
!Not to this extent -
............ -
Don't cry. She won't be back-
.............-
?Why the hell is this crying -
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I leaned a little bit to the right to spit out a lump of chewing tobbaco and I saw them. They were still knocking the ground. Some of their details slide
.......to float away, making me think
THE END
Regards to all
mustafa mudathir
PS: The original Arabic text can be read at
بدونها يقرعون الارض، مازالوا
(عدل بواسطة mustafa mudathir on 12-19-2003, 03:03 AM)
(عدل بواسطة mustafa mudathir on 12-19-2003, 03:11 AM)
(عدل بواسطة mustafa mudathir on 12-19-2003, 03:28 AM)
(عدل بواسطة mustafa mudathir on 12-19-2003, 07:33 AM)
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| العنوان |
الكاتب |
Date |
| Without Herتماضر و مصطفى آدم عايز رأيكم | mustafa mudathir | 12-19-03, 02:17 AM |
| Re: Without Herتماضر و مصطفى آدم عايز رأيكم | Tumadir | 12-19-03, 02:38 AM |
| Re: Without Herتماضر و مصطفى آدم عايز رأيكم | mustafa mudathir | 12-19-03, 02:48 AM |
| Re: Without Herتماضر و مصطفى آدم عايز رأيكم | Tumadir | 12-19-03, 03:06 AM |
| Re: Without Herتماضر و مصطفى آدم عايز رأيكم | mustafa mudathir | 12-19-03, 03:15 AM |
| Re: Without Herتماضر و مصطفى آدم عايز رأيكم | mustafa mudathir | 12-19-03, 03:01 PM |
| Re: Without Herتماضر و مصطفى آدم عايز رأيكم | Tumadir | 12-19-03, 04:34 PM |
| Re: Without Herتماضر و مصطفى آدم عايز رأيكم | Reem | 12-19-03, 09:50 PM |
| Re: Without Herتماضر و مصطفى آدم عايز رأيكم | mustafa mudathir | 12-21-03, 05:52 PM |
| Re: Without Herتماضر و مصطفى آدم عايز رأيكم | mustadam | 12-20-03, 10:31 AM |
| Re: Without Herتماضر و مصطفى آدم عايز رأيكم | الزنجي | 12-20-03, 10:49 AM |
| Re: Without Herتماضر و مصطفى آدم عايز رأيكم | mustadam | 12-20-03, 02:45 PM |
| Re: Without Herتماضر و مصطفى آدم عايز رأيكم | mustadam | 12-20-03, 09:18 PM |
| Re: Without Herتماضر و مصطفى آدم عايز رأيكم | mustadam | 12-21-03, 01:21 PM |
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mustafa mudathir
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