دعوة للضحك

هى فرصة لرسم الابتسامة على الوجوه العابسة

المصدر مجهول ـ ايميل من صديق




Subject: Airline Humor from Quantas Air

After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form,

called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about

problems with the aircraft. True story. The mechanics correct the

problems, document their repairs on the form, & then

pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight. Its true.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of

humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints

submitted by Quanta's pilots & the solutions recorded

by maintenance engineers. All of these are true stories.

By the way, Quanta's is the only major airline that

has never had an accident. True story

----------------------------------------

(P= The problem logged by the pilot.)

(S= The solution and action taken by mechanics.)

-----------------------------------------------

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.

S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.

S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.

S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.

S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet

per minute descent.

S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.

S: Evidence removed.


P: DME volume unbelievably loud.

S: DME volume set to more believable level.


P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.

S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.

S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.

S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.

S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.


P: Aircraft handles funny.


S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, & be

serious.


P: Target radar hums.

S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.

S: Cat installed.


P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds

like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.

S: Took hammer away from midget