أليست الإنجليزية لغة سخيفة؟ (Isn't English A silly Language )

Isn't English A silly Language

Let's face it, English is a crazy Language, there is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple, English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France.
Sweetmeats are candies, while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat.
We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square, and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor it is a pig.
And why is it that writers write, but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce, and hammers don't ham? if the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth beeth? One goose, two geese – one moose, two meese? And one index, two indices?
Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend, that you comb through annals of history but not through a single annal? If you have a collection of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?
If teachers taught, why don't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? If you wrote a letter, did you brote your tongue?
Sometimes I think all English speakers should be commited to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what language do people recite at a play and play at a recital; ship by trucks, and send cargo by ship; have noses that run and feet that smell; park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? How can overlook and oversee be opposites, while quite a lot and quite a few are alike? How can the weather be hot as hell on day and cold as hell another.
Have you noticed that we talk about certain things only when they are absent? Have you ever seen a horseful carriage or a strapful gown? Met s sung hero or experienced requited love? Have you ever run into someone who was combobulated, gruntled, ruly or peccable? And where all those people who ARE spring chickens or who WOULD hurt a fly?
You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out, and in which and alarm clock goes off by going on.
English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of human race (which, of course, isn't a race at all). That is why, when the stars are out the are visible, but when the lights are out the are invisible. And why, when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I end it.
المصدر: كتيب The GP Press Style Guide

Antagonyms


Anabasis: A military advance vs. A military retreat (3) {C}

Anon : Immediately [Archaic] or soon vs. Later (3) {M}

Anxious: Full of mental distress because of apprehension of danger or misfortune [in effect, seeking to avoid] (We were anxious about the nearby gunshots.) vs. Eager or looking forward to (Until you returned, I was anxious to see you.) (1)

Apparent: Not clear or certain (For now, he is the apparent winner of the contest.) vs. Obvious (The solution to the problem was apparent to all.) (1) {I}

Assume: To actually have (To assume office) vs. To hope to have ("He assumed he would be elected.") (3) {M}

Avocation: A hobby vs. a regular occupation [and one could say it's a triple antagonym if you agree that the archaic meaning of "a distraction" is the opposite of working (even at a hobby) and if you agree that the obsolete meaning of "a calling away" takes you away from (the opposite of participating in) your hobbies, work, and even your distractions!] (1)

Awful: Extremely unpleasant, ugly vs. Awe-inspiring [typically, a feeling of admiration] (1)

Bad: See above

Bound: Moving ("I was bound for Chicago") vs. Unable to move ("I was bound to a post", or less literally, "I was bound to my desk") (3) {S}

Buckle: to hold together (e.g. buckle your belt) vs. to fall apart (e.g., buckle under pressure) {AQ}

Bull: A solemn edict or mandate vs. Nonsense or worthless information (3) {M}

Chuff: Elated vs. Unhappy (hinted at in 1) {M}

Cite, Citation: For doing good (such as military gallantry) vs. for doing bad (such as from a traffic policeman) (1)

Cleave: To adhere tightly vs. To cut apart (1) {A}

Clip: to attach vs. to cut off (1) {AH}{AS}

Cool: positive sense (cool web-sites) vs. negative sense(cool reception). {AA}

Comprise: To contain entirely vs. To be included in ("The United States comprises 50 states"; "The 50 states comprise the United States") [Some will argue with both uses, including me; however, both uses have become commonplace and some sources list both without comment.] (1) {U}

Counterfeit: [Archaic] a legitimate copy vs. a copy meant to deceive{Y}

Cut: get in (as in line or queue) vs. get out (as in a school class) {T}

Dust: To remove dust vs. To apply dust (as in fingerprinting) {H}

Effectively: in effect (doing the equivalent of the action but not the real thing) vs. with effect (doing the action and doing it well) [Contrast "he is effectively lying" (colloquial?) with "he is lying effectively"] {AD}

Enjoin: To order someone to do something vs. To stop someone from doing something [such as in law by an injunction] (1) {D}

Fast: Moving rapidly vs. Unable to move ("I was held fast to my bed.") (3) {S}

Fix: to restore to function (fixing the refrigerator) vs. to make non-functional (fixing the dog) {AZ}

Fearful: Causing fear vs. Being afraid (1) {A}

Goods: [Slang] good things vs. bad things ("I have the goods from the warehouse robbery, but I'm worried the police have the goods on me.") {T}

Hysterical: Being overwhelmed with fear [in some cases] vs. Being funny (1)

Incorporate: When a village is incorporated, it is formed, but when it is incorporated into a city, the village is destroyed {O}

Inflammable [a pseudo-antagonym!]: Burns easily vs. [the incorrect assumption by many that the prefix in- makes it mean:] Does not burn [Only the first definition is correct; the risk of confusion has removed this word from gasoline trucks!] (4) {J}

Last: Just prior vs. final (My last book will be my last publication) {Y}

Lease, Let, Rent: [in essence] To loan out for money vs. To "borrow" for money (1) {K}

Left: To remain vs. to have gone (Of all who came, only Fred's left. [Does it mean he's the only one who still remains or that he's the first to depart?]) {AB}

Let: [Archaic] To hinder vs. To allow (1) {K}

License: Liberty or permission to do something vs. Undue or excessive freedom or liberty (1) {K}

Literally: Precisely vs. often corruptly used to mean "figuratively" (As in: "There were literally millions of people at that party."). Our correspondent writes: Many people think this is an error, albeit a common one; but I think "Literally millions of people" isn't so much error as a form of hyperbole; the trouble is that the literal meaning of "literally" is, among other things, "not hyperbolically." {AF}

Livid: Pale, ashen vs. dark gray-blue (and sometimes corrupted to mean bright red!) (1) {AW}

Mad: carried away by enthusiasm or desire vs. carried away by hatred or anger (3) {AK}

Moot: [a slight stretch here] A moot point is one that is debatable, yet is also of no significance or has been previously decided, so why debate it? (1) {K}

Overlook: to pay attention to, to inspect ("We had time to overlook the contract.") vs. to ignore (1) {AN}

Oversight: Watchful and responsible care vs. An omission or error due to carelessness (1) {E}

Peruse: Read in a casual way, skim (To peruse the Sunday paper) vs. to read with great attention to detail or to study carefully (To peruse a report on financial conditions). {AR}

Policy: Required activity without exception (University policy) vs. An optional course of action (our government's policy regarding the economy) {K}

Populate: To decimate the population (obsolete use) vs. to increase the population {AP}

Practiced: Experienced, expert (I am practiced in my work) vs. Inexperienced effort (The child practiced coloring.) (1)

Prescribe: To lay down a rule vs. To become unenforceable (3) {D}

Presently: Now vs. after some time {BB}

Quite: Completely vs. Not completely (e.g., quite empty [totally empty]; quite full [not completely full, just nearly so]) (3) {M}

Ravel: to disentangle or unravel vs. to tangle or entangle (1) {X}

Recover: hide away (cover again) vs. bring out [hyphenated] (The dinosaur bones were exposed by the flood but then re-covered with dirt, hiding them again; centuries later, the paleontologists recovered them by removing the dirt.) {T}

Refrain: In song, meaning to repeat a certain part vs. To stop (Please refrain from using bad language) {AO}

Release: let go vs. hold on (lease the property again) [hyphenated as re-lease] {T}

Replace: Take away (replace the worn carpet) vs. Put back (replace the papers in the file) {T}

Repress: hold back vs. put forth (press again) [hyphenated] {T}

Reprove: rebuke (reprove a colleague's work) vs. support (re-prove a scientist's theory) {T}

Reservation: what you make when you know where you want to go vs. what you have when you're not sure if you want to go

Reside: to stay put vs. [Slang] to change places (change teams) [hyphenated as re-side] [N.B.: This is also a heteronym!] {T}

Resign: to quit a contract vs. to sign the contract again [hyphenated as re-sign] {T} [N.B.: This is also a heteronym!]

Restive: refusing to move (forward) (a restive horse) vs. Restless (moving around) (1) {M}

Restore [in the following use]: The painting was said to be a fake, so the museum re-stored it in the warehouse. When it was later found to be real, the museum restored it to its place in the gallery. {T}

Riot: Violent disorder vs. Revelry {Consider what is meant when one says, "It was a riot!") (1)

Rival: An opponent vs. (Archaic) A companion or associate (3) {O}

Rocky: Firm, steadfast vs. tending to sway (e.g., a rocky shelf) {S}

Root: To establish (The seed took root.) vs. To remove entirely (usually used with "out", e.g., to root out dissenters) {AG}

Sanction: Support for an action (They sanctioned our efforts.) vs. A penalty for an action (The Congressman was sanctioned for inappropriate behavior.) (1) {D} {O}

Sanguine: (Now poetic) Causing or delighting in bloodshed [according to contributor, also describes a person worked up into a bloody rage] vs. A person hopeful or confident of success [essentially someone calm about something] (2) {B}

Scan: to examine closely vs. to look over hastily (1) {S} {AI}

Screwed: [Slang, vulgar] Had a good experience (We screwed around all night.) vs. To have a bad experience (I was screwed by that cheater.) {T}

Secreted: Having put out, released vs. Placed out of sight (1) [N.B.: This word is also a heteronym!]

Shank: (Informal) The early part of a period of time (It was just the shank of the evening when the party began.) vs. (Informal) The latter part of a period of time (It was the shank of the evening when the party ended.) (1)

Shop: To search with the intent to buy ("I shopped for a book at several stores.") vs. To search with the intent to sell ("I shopped my manuscript to several publishers.") {R}

Sick: unpleasant (A sick joke) vs. wonderful (Slang: That sportscar is really sick!) {AE}

Skin: to cover with a skin vs. to remove outer covering or skin (1) {I} {P}

Strike out: An ending, as in "The batter struck out." vs. A beginning, as in "I thought it was time to strike out on my own." (1) {L} Also, a strike in bowling occurs when there is complete contact between ball and wood (of the pins), whereas a strike in baseball occurs when there is complete absence of contact between ball and wood (of the bat). {W} Also, to strike causes stoppage of work whereas in the theater to strike is to work on the set, lighting, etc. {AX}

Terrific: (Informal) Extraordinarily good vs. Causing terror (1)

Transparent: Easily seen ("His motives were transparent.") invisible {AL}

Trim: To add things to (trim a Christmas tree) vs. or take pieces off (trim hair) {AT}{AU}

للمزيد:
http://www-personal.umich.edu/~cellis/antagonym.html

Quite interesting.

The American English is even crazier: I once read a book (yes a printed book) entitled: "Teaching English As a F***ing Foreign Language" and it was not only fun, it was informative as well. In that book, you could find out how many meanings the F word could carry.

How about Arabic especially within its colloquial context?! I bet it is the craziest of all languages.