Choose your best one

Cigarette :
A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool at the
other.

Love affairs :
Something like cricket where one-day internationals are more popular than
a five day test.

Marriage :
Its an agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman
gains
her master.
Lecture :
An art of transferring information from the notesof the lecturer to the
notes of the students without passing through "the minds of either".

Conference :
The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.

Compromise :
The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got
the biggest piece .

Tears :
The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power is defeated by feminine

water-power ....

Conference Room:
>A place where everybody talks, nobody listens & everybody disagrees later

on.

Ecstasy:
A feeling when you feel you are going to feel a feeling you have never
felt before.

Classic:
> >A book which people praise, but do not read.
> >
> > Smile:
> >A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
> >
> >Office:
> >A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
> >
> > Yawn:
> >The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
> >
> >Etc.:
> >A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
> >
> >Committee:
> >Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that
nothing
> >can be done together.
> >
> >Experience :
> >The name men give to their mistakes.
>Atom Bomb:
An invention to end all inventions.

Philosopher:
A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.

Diplomat:
A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look

forward to the trip.

Opportunist:
A person who starts taking bath if he accidentally falls into a river.

Optimist:A person who while falling from Eiffel Tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."

Pessimist:
A person who says that O is the last letter in ZERO, Instead of the first

letter in word OPPORTUNITY.

Miser:
A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.

Father :
A banker provided by nature.

Criminal:
A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.

Boss:
Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.

Politician:
One who shakes your hand before elections and your Confidence after.

Doctor:
A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.

Software Engineer:
One who gets paid for reading such mails......