Post: #1
Title: ما رأيكم في هذه القصيدة؟
Author: Yaho_Zato
Date: 04-08-2002, 06:51 AM
Parent: #0
في رؤى هذا الكون مجاعات و ورود .......
سبحت في أرجائها أنشد الأمل الموعود ....
صباحات إنسان تنم عن هوى مفقود ....
سقيت فيها مساءاتي بالعنبر و العود ....
و بحثت عن الموجود في أرض اللا موجود ...
بين غرب و قوقاز .... و سود و هنود...
آثار مشنقة في مدى ممدود ......
يا ويح هذا الطفل كيف يعود ؟ .....
في سلسبيل العشق يجري الجنود .....
متاهات ....... و أشواك ......و سدود ....
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Post: #2
Title: Re: ما رأيكم في هذه القصيدة؟
Author: omarmahdi
Date: 04-08-2002, 07:22 AM
Parent: #1
عصيدة
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Post: #3
Title: Re: ما رأيكم في هذه القصيدة؟
Author: khider
Date: 04-08-2002, 10:21 AM
Parent: #2
اثني يا ود مهدي
عصيدة دخن ؟
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Post: #4
Title: ??
Author: Yaho_Zato
Date: 04-08-2002, 03:45 PM
Parent: #1
bardo ma fihimta...
ya3ni sam7a walla shaina?.......o ma3aneeha shinu?
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Post: #5
Title: Re: ??
Author: الحنين
Date: 04-08-2002, 03:53 PM
اظنها اقرب الي النثر منه الي القصيدة
ولكن المعني غير واضح في كل
وعلي اعتبار انها قصيدة لم ترتكز علي بحر شعري معين
فيها بعض الاضطراب بين بحور الشعر
وايضا بعض الكلمات مركبة تركيب لاتحسها في السياق العام متناسقة
وجهة نظر
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Post: #6
Title: Re: ??
Author: Yaho_Zato
Date: 04-08-2002, 05:54 PM
Parent: #5
these words were chosen carefully to mean nothing at all !!
i wrote this thing, and i called it a poem, so i can see what people's reactions will be. my surprise was that i showed it to some friends of mine, and they were like (realy nice one, but dont you think it's so sad? why u write such sad poems man?) ...they made me laugh my butt off.
but i stopped and wondered, would it be possible that other people might say the same? i mean i wanted to know whether it was that my friends just said because they didnt understand anything, and they didnt want me to think they are stupid, or they didnt wanna embaresse me...would it be the same way others will think?
i didnt get what the first tow replies clearly say, but al7aneen tried to critisize it rationally (which wasn't bad)...the real answer i was looking for is(what the @#%* is this?..who is the idiot that wrote this thing, and called it a poem?)..
anyway ..thank u people for your concern. i think am going to navigate in an issue that came to my mind after this experience, which is (are sudanese always able to lie to a person about his work just to make him feel good, or there are some honost people that u can lean on thier critisism?)
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