Ghada Award for Young Writers/Second Annual Contest 2011

First Prize Winner
First GAFYW cONTEST

Yusra Ahmed Abdel Aziz (16 YEARS OLD)



My Journey Towards the Light
By: Yussra Ahmed Abdel Aziz

Topic: My Personal dilemma with the Hijab

Allah says: "I am just as My slave thinks I am, and I am with him if He remembers Me. If he remembers Me in himself, I too, remember him in Myself; and if he remembers Me in a group of people, I remember him in a group that is better than they; and if he comes one span nearer to Me, I go one cubit nearer to him; and if he comes one cubit nearer Me, I go a distance of two outstretched arms nearer to him; and if he comes to Me walking, I go to him running.' – Prophet salAllahu' alaihi wa sallam [Bukhari].
"should I wear the hijab or should I not? And when should I wear it?" These are two questions that ultimately pass through the mind of every Muslim Girl and woman at one point or another in her life.
I only seriously started to consider the idea of hijab during this summer of 2010. It all happened while I was in England accompanied with my mother at my favorite place in the world, called Speakers Corner located in the north-east corner of Hyde Park in London. It's a famous area where public speaking, discussion and debate all take place (Mostly about politics and religion). I was very fortunate to have met three Beautiful Muslim Moroccan girls while I was at Speakers Corner during one of my visits, who were all muhajabat (i.e. veiled). Moreover, I managed to notice how one of the girls was busy having a very interesting conversation with an atheist and a Christian. I was simply rendered speechless and impressed by her demeanor as she seemed to me like the consummate ambassador of Islam!.
But, I felt something strange at that moment and I realized that it was guilt.
And that my Iman (faith) was slowly dwindling and I knew that it was time for me to reflect and change! So I decided to take the opportunity to go a head and talk to the girl who became an unexpected source of inspiration for me.
We talked for almost an hour about the hijab until she asked me an unexpected question, which was: why I don't wear the hijab?
I answered honestly and truthfully and told her that I was simply scared. I was scared of what people would think and say about it, I was scared of repelling any future marriage proposals, I was scared of not being beautiful anymore and standing out in the crowed and potentially losing any of my friends. But all those fears faded away instantly after my long discussion with that faithful and knowledgeable girl, as she managed to justify every excuse I came up with.
She told me not to care about what people in general think because what Allah thinks is all that matters. And that when I face Allah on the Day of Judgment these "people" would not help me. At that point I felt renewed and inspired as all my doubts were put at bay.
However, this wasn't the only incident that had changed my perspective and approach to life; it was Ghada Mujtabah's – a former student at my school and friend – sudden death that changed me. Because that incident in particular made me realize that hijab was not just a covering but a reminder to me that I belong to Allah and that I will inshallah return to him. And that I shouldn't do what many Muslim girls in my Sudanese community would do which is to plan their future and decide to only start putting on their hijab after they get accepted into university or sometimes even after they get married! Which, to me, sounds very absurd; because how do we guarantee that we might even live till tomorrow or the day after?
I also, had a recent remarkable conversation with a German lady who had converted to Islam. She argued that we should never feel ashamed of wearing hijab, on the contrary those who are not wearing it should be because in all religions the covering of women is obligatory. She quoted "There should be no shame in following God's teachings". She even stressed that the hijab symbolizes modesty, respect and honor and that the wisdom behind the legislation of the hijab is Purity.
The two Christian portraits shown below have helped prove to me that hijab is with no doubt obligatory, and that most of the women even before the time of the Prophet Muhammad, peace be upon him, used to wear it, For instance The Virgin Mary and Sarah the wife of Moses:
After these three encounters, I felt enlightened. It was a wakeup call. I took the decision to wear my hijab based on the right reason which was purely my dedication to Allah. I took that decision a few weeks ago while I was on my way to school and since then I have not looked back-Alhamdulillah. In addition, ever since I've observed the hijab, which has been for over a month, I've noticed that my fashion taste has not been affected negatively. In the words of Zainub: "I've scored a new accessory called Modesty, and it's always in style".
Plus, when covered I am not judged by my appearance or style of hair, instead others are forced to judge me by my personality, character and morals.
I thank Allah for blessing me with the beauty of hijab. And I take it from Muhammad Ali Himself – the famous boxer, that told his daughters that women should cover themselves just like every thing beautiful is covered, like diamonds are hidden deep in the ground, and how pearls are covered down in the oceans of the earth. We 're far more precious than diamonds and pearls, and we should be covered, too.
Furthermore, what had started off as a personal dilemma has ended and still continues to be a worthwhile pleasurable commitment. Plus, I don't tend to consider the hijab as a responsibility, but a right given to me by my Creator-Allah, who knows best.
I lived in darkness, fearful of what others thought; needing to be accepted. I now have journeyed towards the light!.

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