|  | 
  |  European English |  | The European Commission has just announced an  agreement whereby English will be the official  language of the European Union rather than  German, which was the other possibility.
 
 As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as ”Euro-English" .
 
 In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard  "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
 
 
 
 There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This  will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.
 
 In  the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new  spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage  where more komplikated changes are possible.  Governments will enkourage the removal  of double letters which have always ben a  deterent to akurate speling. Also, al  wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e"  in the languag is disgrasful and it should go  away.
 
 By the 4th yer people wil be  reseptiv to steps such as
 
 replasing "th"  with "z" and "w" with "v".
 
 During ze  fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from  vords kontaining  "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil  sensi bl  riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
 
 
 
 Und  efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German  like zey vunted in ze forst plas.
 
 If zis  mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza  pepl.
 |  |  
  |    |  |  |  |