To my dear father on the anniversary of your loss

To my dear father:

It occurred to me ,yesterday, 7/27/05, that it has
been exactly 1 year since I had seen you, just a few
days before your final departure on 8/2/04........I
still remember that last day at the airport when I
hugged you and looked at you from a distance long
after we had parted thinking this is probably the last
time I will see you....and quickly shrugging off that
feeling away......only to realize it was very real

It has been a very difficult year my father....full of
challenges and surprises...some expected....and some
truly unexpected......Not long after your death, we
fell into that spiral of events that has now become
commonplace in Sudan...the harsh realities of living
without a father....that dark lonely feeling of being
orphaned....We were thrust into the maze of family law
and litigation ...and rights and wrongs....and oh how
wise you were my dear father........It seems "Adam and
Eve and the apple"....are still amongst us.....but you
already knew that.....I was reminded by the scene you
enacted at the silver jubilee anniversary of Port
Sudan High Secondary School of Marc Anthony after he
realized the ultimate betrayel from Brutus....

I harbour no hatred ...just distrust....no bleeding
wounds...but a permanent scar


Our faith was tested...our spirits were wounded... We
were reminded daily of your loss.... But we
persevered....we remembered your words about inner
strength...you said we should always maintain a
reserve of inner strength that will strengthen us in
challenging times...As you wrote that cryptic message
in your daughters diary many years ago..."When the
going gets tough, the tough get going"

You always looked at adversity as " A Blessing in
disguise"......and we have now begin to reap those
blessings and understand that truly the scheme of
events is planned in such an intricate way...sometimes
we just have to let things happen

I realized my dear father although we miss you
deeply...we are happy for you....you have left this
world as you lived it with dignity, pride, and
majesty...never a burden... always the ultimate
caretaker...the leader...the fighter...the poet...the
scientist....the genuine truly unique person you were
who never forgot where he came from ....who truly new
where he was going...to a far better place

Thank you my father, on behalf of my mother and
siblings, for allowing us to realize our reserves of
inner strength....for instilling in us a deep love for
our home Sudan....for always reminding us that God has
a plan and it is always right....for loving our
children more than life itself

May you continue to rest in piece amongst the angels
in the heavens

Your loving daughter Always Hala

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